Persuading people is about knowing your audience inside and out. Whether it’s toning down your assertiveness when talking to someone who is shy or cranking it up for the aggressive, high-energy type, everyone is different, and catching on to these subtleties goes a long way toward getting them to hear your point of view. So how exactly do we tap into the hearts and the bellies of our listeners, and not just their minds? Three steps will help.

Step 1. Persuading People by aligning your influence attempt with the values of your listeners:

Let’s say you have two colleagues, one who talks a lot about how he wishes you all got paid more. He has mentioned that things are pretty tight financially for his family right now. You have another colleague who loves to be the center of attention. You want both of them to support you at an upcoming departmental meeting when you suggest new software for the office. To align the new software purchase with the first colleague’s needs, mention how the software will make him more efficient, which could increase your bonuses next quarter. Speak to the possible financial gain for him because that’s what he values.

Related: Nasir Khan Jan doing the Influencer Marketing Right

Now, to the other colleague, the one who loves attention, perhaps you say, “You could go to the training and then come back and teach the rest of us how to use it. We’re going to need an expert.” You are communicating the same central message, buy the software, but with two very different approaches, depending on the values of your listeners. So that’s our first way of increasing emotional appeal. 

Step 2. Persuading People by appealing to the hearts of your listeners is to show your own emotion:

If I get up to present at a meeting and I say, “I’m really glad you’re all here today. The idea I’m about to present is amazing and it’s gonna transform the way we do business.” Well, no one is every going to feel excited. To evoke emotion, we must show emotion. Turn on the video camera on your phone sometime and record yourself in a practice attempt to influence someone. When you watch back, do you seem animated and excited or bored and apathetic? Remember, to evoke emotion, show emotion. Retreat where required. Good ideas are often difficult to process instantly, and a bit of time can go a long way. Try using statements such as, “I see where you are coming from,” and “That makes a lot of sense.” Also try to ask good questions to show interest. You’ll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.

Step 3. Persuading People by building emotional appeal by choosing vivid words:

Positive body language will engage your audience and convince them that what you’re saying is valid. When it comes to persuasion, how you say something can be more important than what you say. Also, try to paint a picture: Good stories create images in the mind of the recipients that are easy to relate to and hard to forget.

Related: Influencer Marketing

Take this example from an executive who had to address very concerned shareholders when the management team made some dramatic changes to the way the company did business and didn’t get much input from the shareholders first. She said, “We had no time to waste because the company was hemorrhaging losses to the discordant tune of almost $100,000 per day.” Now, as a listener, we can imagine this poor company literally bleeding out, and we have the specificity of $100,000 per day to really hit us at an emotional level.

Related: Conversational Skills

Imagine if instead the executive had said, “These massive changes were necessary and you need to be supportive.” The central message is the same, but you don’t feel the urgency like you do in the actual speech excerpt. Remember, logic is great, but alone, it’s not enough. You have to speak to the hearts and the bellies of your listeners, too.

The person you are speaking with is a person, not an opponent or a target. Greet them by name as you try to connect and leave a good first impression by not being pushy or mousy. Be clear, concise, genuine, pleasing.